Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
7/28/11
7/26/11
..."it takes a village to raise a child"
Wait, it takes who? ::laughs::
"Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments I give to you today shall be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house, when you walk along the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets on your foreheads, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house, and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:6-9
"Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments I give to you today shall be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house, when you walk along the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets on your foreheads, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house, and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:6-9
7/12/11
5/27/11
5/25/11
4/22/11
3/15/11
...funny, yet not so funny
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist?
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?
He said, Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
****
"Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose" -Philippians 2:2
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist?
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?
He said, Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
****
"Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose" -Philippians 2:2
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