I came home last year convicted and afraid. I was totally on a high- at the peak of my love and admiration for Christ. But the looming fear of what might happen to me if I told Him "I trust you with anything" clouded my head...frankly, I was scared to death.
And on top of it all, I was wondering what it was that kept me from worshiping Him with of myself. I soon realized it was my pride: denying myself, admitting my faults, and giving G-d all of the glory wasn't co-existing too well with my over-grown self-absorption.
I had also realized how fulfilling a relationship with Christ was. I mean yea, I'd been a Christian for 12 years now. And I meant it; but the world kept so much more of my attention.
These three things kept more than their fair share of my attention throughout the week.
So. Because we took a 2 day trip home this year, I ended up arriving home at about 6pm instead of 2 am(trip home, Gleanings 2008- loooong ride!). So, I took my shower, then went into my room and unpacked my stuff. I was very disappointed that the week was over. I always come back different...
Throughout this time, I was praying. Asking G-d to remove my fear and strike down my pride.
And then- (::drum roll::) just at that moment, my prayer resonated in my ears...compliments of the radio. How cool is that?
Yours- Dizmas
If feels life the sky has never been so blue
But that's not the way it used to be
Because there was a time that I was without you
Before I said that I believe
I want to give this up
I want to hold you hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for
I've got pride that I still have to break
It's keeping me away from you
And you stay patient while I make mistakes
I'm learning how to trust in you
So take me where you want me
Take me 'cause I want to be yours
That's awesome! :D
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